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gender dysphoria memes

by leor miller's fear of her own desire

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1.
you and i wrote the exact same thing created conversations out of tiny brainstrings. but i unravel at a higher rate, the brakes break at a higher pace. i unravel at a higher rate, the brakes break.
2.
a body 03:35
standing on top of your car i feel naked with my clothes on i feel more high with my shoes off. i still cannot see the stars. it don't mean shit that i'm made of them i find tiny things and make them giant everything explodes as i close my eyelids i am not what you call me i am not my body. searching for cracks in the floor, slip through the hole in your door i scrawl my name in the ground i pull my hair in and out. i watch my skin recompose, when i look closely it grows, shapes the way i wasn't born it curls up at the corners wasn't born, but was made an unpredictable trade off the top my head it seems but you refuse what it means. i find tiny things and i make them giant everything explodes as i close my eyelids. i am not what you call me i am not my body. and it grows.
3.
agency 01:26
you are not one of my oldest friends i don't walk your way or run in and out of your attention. i don't want to, i don't have to break my back, running around, i don't owe you anything. i don't want to, i don't have to.
4.
a lizard 02:24
you were a god, and i was a lizard named after that god because even when i felt remotely like you, i could only be a tiny one.
5.
and i will be your accessory for the world to see and you can show me what it means to be a good one of my identity.
6.
i don't discover myself i dig futile holes in the ground. fire lit right under my, sit down and put the car in, and i don't discover my futile holes, i dig, i dig, i dig i dig, i an unclear emphasis on i don't discover myself a sickness i cannot cure dig futile holes in my hands. i find i'm learning a lot but have trouble proving it faint fire right under my deep, feeble. holes in my head
7.
parking lot 02:10
with trouble following directions, i get lost and lay down in the middle of the block but the car don't stop keep on running through the fence of the parking lot
8.
thanks a lot i'm giving it all i've got not a lot because i don't fucking get it. thanks a lot for your words, they mean an awful lot, i am an awful lot like you. empty headed, empty headed i don't want to leave the house i hate it it's a place-based depression that doesn't get cured anywhere ever. on a first name basis with my prescriptions

about

photo by kai joy

recorded at bard and in evanston

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released July 14, 2016

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leor miller's fear of her own desire New Haven, Connecticut

i was lost and then i found myself and now i'm lost again.

new album "eternal bliss now!" out now on Candlepin Records.

currently in new haven, ct

she/her
millerleor@gmail.com for inquiries
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