riding out the big anxiety

by leor miller

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"RIDING OUT THE BIG ANXIETY" was recorded in tewksbury at bard.


released March 7, 2016



all rights reserved


leor miller Annandale On Hudson, New York

part time person, full time pop girl from evanston, illinois going to bard college


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Track Name: hit my head
walking on all fours,
sticking sticks of gum under tables,
i will choose yours.
i will chew yours.
i will take my tongue,
taped to the roof of my mouth
taped to the speckle painted wall
on which i daily hit my head.

taped to the speckle painted wall on which i hit my head.
Track Name: circulate
stressed out,
and time is stretching out.
front door is locked,
but i can walk around.

ten dollar charge.
sitting alone,
a little stoned
in my backyard.
staring at the stars
through a phone
in the middle of nowhere.
biting at the edges of my socks,
my circulation has been cut off.
walking, trying to find myself in the dark.
trying to retrace my
train of thought.
Track Name: bed brained
compartmentalize that shit.
i got no brain.
no cabinets in which
i can put it away.

trial and error
and error
and error
and error
and error
and error
and error
and error
and error

i fell asleep in it,
i made my insides ache.
sat for 15 minutes,
it felt like 30 days.

licking the knife with
the most precise technique.
it takes time to learn,
but this i picked up quick.
Track Name: whaddaya?
shooting that shit about?
looking into lenses like
a lost onlooker
long fingers lurching at
every opportunity
pouncing at pictures
of the not so picturesque


write for read later?
write of wrong leader?
climb a tall ladder?
some summits are higher
than others
but climb much quicker.
Track Name: throat coat
i can feel the bubbles in my throat,
like my insides about to explode.
drinking water out of my hand
in the bathroom sink.

i can feel the pressure of the shower,
in it i spend
half an hour.
Track Name: spacey
chewing the insides of my cheeks,
anxieties come in valleys and peaks.
i was so lost then.
and i'm still lost.

Track Name: solace song
i just wanna be useful,
i just wanna be good.
i don't wanna suffer,
no amount of weather to put me under.

i wanna be youthful,
i just wanna have fun.
i don't wanna get over it,
i don't wanna feel done.

i get so...

sometimes i feel so lazy,
can't get out of bed,
and i never know how to explain it.
i'm trying to address it,
this is how i get good.
this is how i get better,
and i think that i still could...

but i get so
caught up
but you
float right
in to
my mind and i remember...