i started coughing at the end lol also kegan kriete told me to name a song "sad in the water" so i did because i love him <3 pajama keegs!
it's the odd things that make me feel safe.
like sleeping somewhere i've never been,
or sleeping in my basement,
or the thought of sleeping under trees.
you're all the things that make me feel warm.
like books when it's about to rain,
like movies that i never watch,
like having hands for more purposes than praying.
it's the huge things that make me feel small.
like stars on a summer night,
like talking to people who do what they love,
and it's starting to look a lot darker
rather than greener on the other side
and sometimes my ideas mean everything
but they're usually just nothing.
at night, i feel as empty as a parking lot. i feel lonely like an astronaut. i feel burned out like a faulty engine. i feel lost like this summer's memories. my head is filled with pages of books i've never read. my thoughts simplify exponentially. my vocabulary is all four-letter-words. my mind doesn't fucking grow.
and it's the new things that make my insides ache.
like going home every night,
like coming back after weeks away,
like unconventional self-harm.
and you're the small things that act like morphine
like a smile on any given day
like laying in bed fully clothed
like driving around for hours